My ADHD has caused over the years the constant self focus on things such as my weight. Negativity is a strong emotion and with so much focus on myself of course the negative things have taken over. It is hard to combat this.
Focusing on yourself is not a bad thing as long as it does not happen all the time. You need to learn when to focus on yourself and when to focus on others and what is around you. This may seem hard but it is completely achievable. Think about the situation and ask yourself: what should the focus of this situation be? This is something I have been trying recently and have found it helps.
The other step that you(and me) need to work on is making the focus positive. Even negative aspects of your life and body can have positive sides. If you think about your weight focus on what you are doing to change that.
These small changes have been making me not only happier but are making people realize a change in my attitude. It is getting there and I am slowing forcing myself to remember the world does not revolve around me.
We tend to focus on what other people think of us when it in reality isn’t important. What matters more is what we think of ourselves. Let’s take a look at how you can get over what other people think of you.
People Aren’t Thinking About You
With over 50,000 thoughts going through everyone’s mind every day people aren’t thinking about you. The sooner that you realize that other people aren’t thinking about you every time they look your way the easier it will be to get over other people’s opinions.
People Are Insecure
People judge other people because they are insecure themselves. They do so to take their thoughts off their own perceived inadequacies. By realizing this fact you can realize that most people aren’t comfortable with who they are. No matter how perfect they appear to you they are facing the same problems you are.
You Are You
Who you are is who you are and there is no one else you should be. Other people have no right to judge you. The sooner you realize that you are good the way you are the sooner that other people’s opinions won’t matter. It will also help you build your confidence in general when you own who your.
Remove Your Negative Influences
Lastly, remove any negative people from your life. I was going to call this section remove negative friends from your life but if someone is being negative and driving you down they aren’t being your friend. Because negativity is such a powerful emotion it is important that you remove it from your life and by removing negative people from your life you won’t have to worry about their opinions any longer.
Own yourself. Don’t let anyone else’s opinions hold any sway in what you do or how you think. This is something that I have a lot of problems with and am still trying to get over. These tips have made it easier for me to combat my problems with what other people think of me. I hope they will help you too.
One of the things that I didn’t develop until I was diagnosed with ADHD was my filter. I would just speak without thinking about it and never knew that there was anything else.
Now I try to focus more on what I should say and what I shouldn’t. I still find this extremely hard because I don’t often realize what I am saying until it is already said.
One thing I find that helps more than anything else is to think of talking in terms of using a radio. A radio has a button known as the Push To Talk button and almost as soon as you hit it it begins to transmit so stuttering or just sitting there can be embarrassing and delay other users. A common saying has developed around this, “Push To Talk not Push To Think”.
You have to think about what you are going to say before you say it.
So the death of my family member hit me hard and ended up distracting me from the blog, it got a bad start. I am here to announce the reopening of the blog, a new schedule, and a few other things.
From now on there will be a post every Monday and Wednesday starting today! These posts can help you get you started with the week and get through hump day. I will try to keep my Monday posts inspirational to help those who read the blog get even more pumped up.
Further I am also going to introduce posts that are meant to help other people, not just document my experiences. Check out the new Advice category.
In addition, Miss Squirrel and I are now officially engaged. Yep. I am super happy and it has helped to make my view on everything else more positive.
Additionally, I had a job interview last week and have another this week. This has further made my life even more positive. I have noticed the more positive I am the better my ADHD gets.
Losing a family member is never easy, that is why it took me so long to write this post despite the fact I wanted it out over a week ago. On February 11th, 2015 one of my aunts passed away due to cancer. While she may have been “only” an aunt she was someone who had made a big difference in my life. When my birth mother died she was the one who tracked me down using social media and what little she knew about me. She cared deeply about those she knew and despite the fact that I only met her in person once I would not have had the chance to meet my birth father or brothers if it had not been for her.
Ms. Squirrel has been a huge help during this time and although I do wish she would have come over the night I found out she is an amazing girlfriend. It just would have helped to have her there to talk to and hold.
Having my aunt live in Las Vegas while the rest of my birth family is on the other side of the country made it feel too uncomfortable to go down to see my uncle afterwards (the rest of my birth family can’t afford to travel and doesn’t enjoy it). I might have gone if Ms. Squirrel wasn’t in school and could have gone with me. I feel bad for not going but I don’t know how I would have handled that situation. I hope my aunt, no matter where she is now, understands.
I often get asked the question why I write. I am sure that part of this question stems from the fact that I didn’t major in writing. I did take a fair amount of writing classes and spent a fair amount of my classes that I took for my major writing. Almost all the time I expect people to want a complicated answer but my answer is simple.
I write for me. I don’t write for anyone else although I have recently found more enjoyment in having other people read my work it is still for me.
For most people reading takes them to a new world and to a certain extent it does that for me too. But writing makes me feel like I am living in the world that I am writing. It is the perfect release from a stressful day or to just escape from the world.
This is a post that I have written about before on the original blog but I had the same dream again and wanted to write about it. Because I had the dream this morning Monday’s post will be rescheduled to later this week. There will also be a bonus post this week about something that happened last week. I am just trying to figure out how to write it. Without further ado though lets talk about the dreams.
I love the traditional nightmare. There is something about a crashing plane or a monster in a dream, they can be conquered. Or at least enjoyed for the fiction. For me a nightmare is a dream that happens relating to reality that you can’t fix. A while ago a long standing friend (over 5 years) stopped being my friend. Since then I have a reacquiring dream where we become friends again. I think the impossibility of the dream is what makes it hurt so much. I stopped doing a hobby that I love for the person I had the dream about.
This person and I were friends but we both liked each other more than that. The thing is I have Ms. Squirrel and at this point in my life I don’t want her back as anything more than a friend. But alas I don’t think that shall ever happen. I miss my friend.
So for my first topic on the new blog I figured I would talk about my ADHD for those who don’t already know about it. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in elementary school but my parents hid it from me (more to come on that in a later post). I went to a new doctor in my senior year of college. When I explained to the doctor that I had trouble concentrating and had small bouts of depression they set me up to speak with their on-staff counselor. We sat and talked and he had me fill out a depression/ADHD/ADD checklist/question list. The next time I came in both him and my doctor had analyzed the information. They determined that instead of having depression (which is what I thought I had) I in fact had what the doctor called full spectrum ADHD. She explained that that meant that I felt symptoms that people with different kinds of ADHD feel combined. Some of the things she said the ADHD explained are:
Having Trouble with Social Cues
For a while I took medication for my ADHD despite my parents insistence that I don’t. Eventually I stopped for two reasons: 1) the monthly cost was around $50 and 2) some of the jobs I am interested in getting require you to not be on ADHD medication until after you are hired. So despite being off Adderall for over a year I am still learning to cope with the symptoms of ADHD.
I plan to talk more about my ADHD in future posts. If you have questions or comments please feel free to leave them below or to email me.
Images in this post are used under the creative commons license: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/legalcode
Well it’s simple, I picked the squirrel because I have AD… Oh look there goes a squirrel… I mean ADHD and cane be easily distracted (and entertained. This blog was also originally created to be a place separate from my professional life so I wanted to, for now, keep it anonymous as possible. I also think squirrels are cute little creature. Don’t you agree?
A while ago I started a WordPress blog known as OneWorldAway. It was about my thoughts and feelings and some randoms stuff. When I started it I actually saw a great number of visitors in a short period of time and had fun writing it. Then I got really busy with work.
Now I want to bring it back. I decided I was going to give it a new name and make it self hosted a long with a number of other domains I own. Hence the birth of This Mind of Mine. This Mind of Mine is to be a personal blog where I can post whatever I want to. It is going to be disconnected with all of the other blogging and work I do and for now I shall be known as Mr. Squirrel. Read my next post to find out why!